tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65707889819711477862024-03-13T19:30:17.631-04:00Peters CornerErichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05062637733962156085noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-23713783915577621762017-08-03T22:14:00.002-04:002017-08-03T22:14:50.947-04:00Home School is So Cool! I have been wanting to sit down and write about homeschooling for a long time. It is 9 p.m. and all the kids are in bed and Eric is at a Men's Group and one of the first things I want to do is write. I miss writing and dream about being able to do it more. <br />
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Homeschooling has been on our radar for years. There are so many families locally and nationally that we love and admire who homeschool. We moved to our little town specifically for the top rated schools and the proximity to the city. I homeschooled Simon with a friend his second year of preschool because although I see the value of preschool I do not enjoy the homeschool brigade. Yes moms will tell you that they long for the "break" but for me having always had more children at home a break from the older/easier children does not feel like enough of a break to load/unlaod the littles four extra times. I am a (mostly) stay at home mom for many reasons, one being that I love to offer my kids freedom from schedules, freedom from rushing and freedom to explore and adventure. I have found that once we invite school schedules into our lives it dictates our whole family schedule and so thus far each kid has done one official year of preschool. I am super excited to get a break from the preschool brigade this coming school year.<br />
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<b>Why We Homeschooled...</b><br />
I regularly get asked why we decided to homeschool Simon. The answer to that is not a simple one as you can imagine. Simon started first grade at school and this was his first time being gone all day. This was for sure a big transition for Simon. He liked school, enough. I never had to beg him to get on the bus. But we quickly watched his personality change. It was super sad b/c the whole family missed him and would be excited to see him at the end of the day and then we would frequently have difficult evenings. I think Simon needed a few different things. He wanted to see friends and play outside after school and yet he needed to be alone and play legos and recharge. I remember messaging a seasoned mom of 6 and saying "I feel like I've lost my son. I can't seem to connect with him." She affirmed that this was a normal experience once kids went to school all day. We continued to watch him struggle and we began to pray and seek counsel. <br />
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The Lord dropped a fellow Madiera Mom into my lap last fall. I had heard of her as a Madeira homeschooling mom and then I ran into her several times in a few short days. As the first semester continued on I asked her to coffee to pick her brain and her experiences with homeschooling. The Lord was so kind in allowing me to meet her. She was <u>paramount</u> to my homeschool journey. She supported me, encouraged me, helped me with curriculum, and we became friends. Having someone in my community to collaborate with was paramount to our success!<br />
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I lost so much sleep over this decision but Eric and I got to a place with Simon that we decided we were unwilling to continue to watch Simon struggle. It's not that he was unhappy. It just seemed like he was not at peace. And we began to gain confidence in doing something completely counter intuitive and we took Simon out of school after Christmas break. I cannot describe the panic I felt at times. I would worry that we would both hate it. I worried that I wouldn't be able to manage it all. You name it, I thought it. <br />
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So we took the leap and January came and within a few weeks Simon was back to himself completely!!! This was huge!!! I pray that Eric and I continue to have the courage to help create circumstances where our children can thrive. Around this time we ran into a homeschooling dad and were giving him an update on the family. We began to share about taking Simon out of school and he responded saying <i><b>"It's almost like Simon needs the family and the family needs Simon".</b></i> In that moment my heart soared with validation because both of these things were true and I was so grateful that someone could summarize it for me so succinctly. What a freakish thing to say and claim in our society today. I know it sounds weird and yet it perfectly summed up what was happening last fall in our family. I can speculate about the dynamics of his classroom, about different social situations that might have contributed to his personality change. I can guess a million things but at the end of the day our guts said that the one dynamic we could remove to attempt to reach our son's needs was school and it paid off in a huge way. <br />
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<b>Reality of Homeschooling...</b><br />
It is not easy! It feels near impossible some days. The younger girls are so busy and so distracting that it was hard to do any schoolwork when they were awake. By the time naptime came around both Simon and I were tired. There was opposition to reading, practicing piano, doing spelling, you name it! Each day we had battles. <i><b>Something being right does not produce the absence of opposition and struggle. </b></i>But we worked through it together. And I had my fellow homeschooling friend that I could text in the midst of a hard day to help talk me off the ledge. Both Simon and I had to apologize to eachother for not handling things well but our relationship has grown through it. There is just something about having significant time together that allows us to deeply engage into our kid's hearts. And I am no doubt being refined through that as well.<br />
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<b>God's Faithfulness...</b><br />
I cannot recount all of the ways that God was faithful but I do want to highlight a few examples. <br />
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<li>We found a perfect co-op for Simon. Several friends were using this co-op and so I trusted it. I randomly watched a video on Facebook that featured a family that adopts and fosters. It was an inspiring video but the thing that stood out was the oldest boy in the family. He had a sparkle in his eye that struck me. Would you believe that the first day of co-op I roll up to see this same boy opening the door to greet us? This boy became Simon's favorite friend at co-op! Every week we pulled up and he opened the door with a huge grin and that same sparkle in his eye and Simon jumped out of the car excitedly and I thanked God! Sidenote: had I not opened my own counseling practice 5 minutes from our house I would not have been able to pick him up every Monday, another sign of faithfulness. </li>
<li>Simon got invited to be a part of a homeschool field day. He was put in a mixed aged group (K-12) with no one he knew in his group. During the morning he competed against kids his own age and then in the afternoon his mixed age group competed together. I mention this for two reasons. People often express concern that homeschoolers don't get enough social interaction. I put Simon in more unknown situations this past 6 months than he would have ever experienced staying in his classroom with the same 22 kids every day. I watched him grow in confidence with each new experience. Secondly, EVERYTIME we are around homeschool families I am amazed by their kindness and their acceptance of kids in different age groups. The middle school and high school kids in his group could not have been nicer and Simon's day was made because being with older kids is so awesome! </li>
<li>We found that Simon was able to take piano and be in soccer so much more easily being homeschooled. Our evenings were light. We didn't have to stress about homework and we didn't have to rush to piano because we were able to knock it out during the school day. </li>
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We finished up the school year by the skin of our teeth. May was HARD! But we made it and our relationship is stronger than ever. The Madeira principal was kind enough to administer Simon's testing to submit for our future homeschool application and his scores went up so I guess you could say we passed! I took Simon to the school to test and every time I've asked him about it he says he does not miss "school" and he never wants to go back. I can only commit to one year at a time. So after more prayer and consideration we have decided to give it another year homeschooling Simon with a new co-op and new curriculum. And I completely trust that the Lord will be faithful again. Walker is going to Kindergarten and we are going to evaluate where we will go from there after we get through this school year.</div>
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I would not call myself a follower necessarily but I will say that I love for my people to do what I am doing. My flesh wants to sell all of my closest friends on homeschooling. But I have felt convicted that this is my path and while it can be lonely to be in the minority this is my journey and I cannot put that on anyone else. It is not easy for me to do something counter-cultural and different. Life is so funny! I kicked and screamed my way into being a stay at home mom. God worked me through that journey to get me to a place of finding so much purpose and value in my role as a SAHM. Just when I thought I'd be cashing in on that role and transferring my kids over to the school I felt called to start homeschooling. I truly do not know what the future holds for our family. Some days I find myself hoping all four of my kids end up in school all day and other days I see us all home schooling around our big kitchen table. </div>
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-11442031380803676322016-12-04T00:06:00.000-05:002016-12-04T00:07:51.829-05:00Gwen's Birth I have terrible morning sickness the first tri-mester of my pregnancies but once I get to 16-18 weeks my pregnancies have all gone very smoothly and have been uneventful. I am typically walking 2 miles several times a week up until birth. Eden's birth was our least favorite birth experience by far. Eric was pretty shaken by her birth and was nervous. I knew we had another good birth experience available to us and I wanted to go out on a positive experience. Several friends were praying for Eric and I to be able to work as a team and for a peaceful and calm birth. <br />
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Following a move on October 31, I was more than ready to have baby #4 by December 3, my due date. With Simon being 10 days late and Walker and Eden being 12 days late I tried not to get my hopes up. But I was actually feeling that the baby was going to come pretty near the due date this time. I text some friends on December 4 saying I was feeling laborious. I tried something completely different this time. I relaxed and rested and let my body do the work. I slept very briefly on and off that night after resting most of the afternoon and evening. After a few hours of regular contractions we asked some dear friends to come over to be with the kids so we could head to the hospital around 6 a.m. After triage and six failed attempts at getting an IV in my arm for the Hep Bloc my labor basically stopped COMPLETELY by 9 a.m. I was so discouraged. We had already started my Group B strep meds and I was due for another dose at 12 noon. Dr. Bowen just happened to be at the hospital checking on other patients and stopped in. I did something totally instinctual and so totally against my norm. I took a nap. I would have typically started walking briskly through the hallways trying to will my body to get back into labor. But I was determined this time, my fifth and final birth to follow my body's instincts. And my body said it was tired and wanted to rest. Dr. Bowen came back at noon and offered to break my water. That is a no-no to a natural birth plan and I was very torn about it because I did not want to introduce any interventions. One intervention often leads to another and that is not how I wanted to deliver this time around. After texting a couple of doula friends and reconsidering my trust in Dr. Bowen, Eric and I decided to let him. He was fairly certain it would quickly jump start my labor again, especially with this being my fifth delivery. Dr.. Bowen also mentioned a few times that he had his office Christmas Party at Ruth Chris at 5 p.m. No pressure!!!</div>
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He broke my water around 12:45 p.m. and I started tracking hard contractions at 2:29 and stopped tracking at 3:56 just before I hit transition. My parents were able to come in to the room just in time to see me push our sweet baby into the world around 4:30 p.m. and Dr. Bowen finished things up and was off to his Christmas Party in hopes of only being a few minutes late :). </div>
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And It's a Girl! Two boys and two girls! How completely blessed are we?!? </div>
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I could not be happier with Gwen's birth! All of our prayers were answered. Eric and I worked together beautifully, which if you have never had or witnessed a natural birth is absolutely essential. I had an amazing, very experienced nurse who even suggested a different position to me that was super helpful at one point which is nearly unheard of. Natural birthing moms are often an annoyance to nurses and are highly uncommon but I have found the nurses at Bethesda North Hospital to be very supportive of natural deliveries. This one in particular was encouraging, calm, and very accommodating to my requests for a dark and quiet room. </div>
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If you do the math, you can see that my hard labor was very short. It was probably around 2 hours of hard intensive labor. I was more prepared for this mentally as I transitioned very quickly with both Walker and Eden. If you've ever gone from 4 cm to pushing in less than an hour you know it is scary because the pain hits you so hard and fast, so fast that I went into shock when delivering Eden. My first natural birth with Simon was long and I experienced hard labor for 8 hours but it built up and was a totally different experience then these last three. </div>
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Gwen's birth was quiet. I always say that anyone is welcome in my delivery rooms but I have learned that I need it to be just Eric and me until I am at the very end. It was a very special birth and one that we will always cherish.</div>
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There is no one I would rather have as my OB than Dr. Daniel Bowen. I cannot recommend him enough! He is so calm! He is so knowledgeable! His statistics for natural and vaginal deliveries are unmatched. I feel very blessed to have had three babies with his practice. He is excellent!</div>
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It has taken me a year to write out Gwen's birth but it is something I treasure and want to keep forever. Her first birthday is in just two days. I always feel sad when my babies turn 1. The first year is so special and maddening, exhilarating and exhausting, mundane and eventful. Gwen is such a sweet baby. She has been so easy and such a joy. Her spirit is very calm and sweet. She's been on the serious side but I sense she is paying attention. Gwen has slept through the night a handful of nights in a year. I'm pretty tired and have more grey hairs popping up but I have had little helpers this time. I have kids that love her and look after her. They entertain her. It is my greatest joy! You have your first baby and wonder how you could ever love another child as much and then you have another and your hearts swells. My heart is so swollen with love right now it carries me right through the trying times. Somehow, I have managed to become a very relaxed Mom. Somehow, after four kids I am referred to by others as "laid back". This is good news folks! The Lord has done a beautiful, purposeful and kind work on my heart over the years. I have asked for more of Him and he gracefully enters. It is my only Hope as a Mother to be able to rely fully on the Lord's strength, wisdom and grace. It is not perfect and I still lose my patience and get crazy. I have limits but I have also learned to take care of myself better. I leave when I need to. I exercise regularly. I rest more than I have ever allowed myself to rest. </div>
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And I am now realizing that I never recorded Eden's birth. Shoot! She'll be three soon. Sounds like a good time to write it out :)</div>
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-57705655635958718082016-04-03T00:01:00.002-04:002016-04-03T00:01:39.482-04:00House, House Baby!It's been 10 months since I last wrote! Boo! I love to write and I definitely desire to dedicate more time to it. It allows me to record things that I want to remember years down the road, things I want to be reminded of. I guess bringing another baby into our lives is a good enough excuse for the past year. Being sick and pregnant, trying to sell a house and moving! Yeah, that was enough!<br />
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So the house! After years of dreaming of a brand new kitchen at the old 6537 house we kept running into roadblocks. We interviewed several contractors and finally found one we loved at the high recommendation of a trusted friend. The project went from just a kitchen renovation to an extended dining room and a potential added master suite. The price tag continued to get higher and higher as we received round two architect plans and found out our contractor needed to push our project to 2016 due to rain. Almost to the day of hearing that news, guess who contacted me to let me know she was ready to sell? <br />
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This sweet woman who lived on our street had been at my house six months earlier at an oil class of all things and said she was planning to downsize. After she left my mind began working, as it often does. I contacted her via facebook and asked her to let me know if she was ever serious about moving and that I thought we would be interested. During that 6 months I would often drive by and pray about this house. "Lord, is this something?". We looked at 6609 on a Sunday and made an offer on Monday that she accepted. We really did not want to move. We had grown to LOVE our neighborhood and all of the wonderful people in it. This was an absolute no brainer for us! We could stay close to our neighbors and avoid a major renovation by moving about 10 houses down on the SAME STREET!<br />
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6609. I literally pinch myself. Open kitchen to the family room so I can see my kids while I cook and do dishes. Large, finished basement with a full bath and a guest bedroom so we can easily host people, especially Eric's parents. Plenty of bedroom space for all four kids from now until they move out on their own. I literally cried when I saw the two kids' bedrooms because we like having our kids share and they are huge with room for more kids, if needed ;) A dreamy backyard with a deck and patio (something our 6 figure reno would not have included). A master suite big enough for the baby to be in a full size crib in my closet. Some days I walk around and stand amazed! We were able to get everything we could ever need in a home! <br />
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So now it was time to sell 6537. So here's the thing. 6537 is in a desirable school district and an amazing neighborhood and I think people liked our home when they came because they felt warmth. We had such positive feedback on our home's vibes. But no offers. It's not fully updated. It's a Quad level home. It was Fall, the real estate off season. After 4 months and 50 showings an offer that we weren't prepared to take came in. Then another offer that we didn't want to take but agreed to. Then unforeseen, completely abnormal "issues" that came up at an additional inspection, an inspection my realtor had never seen done in 15 years of real estate. This was not fun. It became an issue that would need to now be disclosed but an issue that is not a current issue but could be enough to scare a future buyer. Fear of the unknown, fear of another low offer, fear of how long this could go on led to a sale and a close in February. <br />
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Here's the catch. We prayed relentlessly for 6537 to sell. We prayed fervently for blessings upon the buyers. Maybe I got too Polyanna? The purchase of 6609 was such a God thing. Literally, if the roadblocks had not happened we would not have been open to moving. And look what He provided for us? Complete favor. Complete blessing. Why was the selling piece not going well? We received prayer and cookies from some sweet neighbors one evening who had it on their heart to come encourage us. Eric and some guys came down and prayed over the house one night. Eric and I were at a healing prayer event and we asked the lady to pray for us and about the sale of the house. Well guess what? She passed right on over the sale and got to the heart of things. She blessed our new home and prayed for unity in our marriage. She blessed Eric as the head of our house. She prayed for our children, even our unborn baby. She shook my toe (because I was laid out on the ground overcome by the Holy Spirit) and prayed against control and perfectionism. She was nailing it! I was trying with all that was in me to control everything. It made me crazy! And here I am, just a few months out from the closing and I'm already seeing more clearly. If I wanted to trust God through the sale, I had to be surrendered and not so freaking crazy! I mopped the floors and picked up every toy and cleaned each toilet for every showing while we lived there. I knew deep in my heart that there was nothing I could do to coerce the sale but I somehow clung to control. Does God need to do something in my timing to feel like he's got my back? Why was my faith so dependent on him following my prescriptive desires on how/when to sell "my" house? Even more, if all that I have is His, what business do I have even caring or worrying? The Lord has and will always provide for us and I just witnessed it and turned around to doubt it again. There was so much noise during that time period. The dreaded feedbacks from selling agents telling us over and over that our house was not updated enough for their buyers. Our price was too high. The text message requests coming in 2-5 times a week and having to reorient our lives around these showings. The decision to buy new appliances, granite and paint the cabinets half way through the process. There was just so much noise. So many opinions. So many differing opinions. It was all so distracting. <br />
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So many amazing things have happened! The sale didn't break my marriage. We are actually in a better place than ever. The move didn't break our family. And one of the sweetest things that happened was a few friends came into our home and anointed it with oil and prayed over every door and window. This home felt like home from day one and I still smile when I see a little oil on a door post. I cannot recount how many neighbors and friends and family pitched in to help us. Pack, unpack, carry boxes, watch kids, paint, feed us. We moved when I was 35 weeks pregnant and it went smooth. How does that happen without the help of community? Eric and I bought this house not just for ourselves but also for others. We have already had opportunities to host his family for Christmas, had gatherings for 30, 40 and 50 people <i>comfortably </i>in our home. That is a dream come true for us! <br />
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I want to care less about the little details and be more about being faithful to a God that is worthy of my trust! Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-24385565203812169072015-06-07T21:01:00.001-04:002015-06-11T17:49:15.911-04:00A New Team MemberI have always wanted a big family. Always. Anytime I see a TV Show or a movie with four or more kids in the family my heart swells. I love the noise and the chaos. I love the idea of a full dinner table. I dream of this. If you ever read Karen Kingsbury's Redemption series imagine me giddy behind the pages of the book dreaming of creating the Baxter's family. <br>
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Our family has been grown in freedom. It has been one of the most freeing and uncharacteristic areas of my life. I like to be in control. I am a planner (at least in my head if not on paper). I think through things extensively. When I had a surprise pregnancy in college I almost crumbled. That was never in my plan. Everything seemed like it would be different. I never dreamed of becoming a Mom for the first time with a man that I was not married to and did not see a future with. It was heartbreaking. And yet, God redeemed that situation in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY!<br>
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When Eric and I got married we started birth control. Very Western mentality about growing our family. We had a five year plan of sorts. About a year into our marriage I was having complications with birth control so we went off and schooled ourselves on Natural Family Planning in a sweet Catholic nurse's home. It was very enlightening and empowering. A few months later, I started to feel a pull to let go of "the plan". I shared this with Eric and initially his response was not the best. Something to the effect of "if you want kids you should start volunteering in the nursery". You can imagine how well that went over. Eric and I laugh at that now. We know each other better. I am impulsive and come to him with an idea. He is initially very grounded and needing to think through it which comes off as pessimistic to me. Then he jumps on board and I inevitably freak out and question it. Ah, Marriage!<br>
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But alas, we gave up our plan and conceived Simon shortly after. From there, we joyfully got pregnant with another baby that we lost at 12 weeks. That was heartbreaking and even though we were without a plan, no one plans for a miscarriage. Walker Joseph (Joseph means "God will increase") joined the family 2.5 years after Simon. Eden was another joyful addition 20 months after Walker. To watch siblings love each other is one of life's greatest joys. The boys fight on and off all day but then they have moments where they work together or love on each other and it melts everything in me. The boys have been a protector and lover to Eden from day one. She asks for them first thing in the morning and is looking for them and waving to them when she comes down the stairs. <br>
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After we had Eden there were many months that I told Eric "I cannot get pregnant again!". Having three kids 4 and under proved to be very challenging at times. So we did practice birth control exactly three times before conceiving again. And then there was another positive test and though we hadn't even talked through this thoroughly we were elated! <br>
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We are thrilled! My dream of a big family is looking like a reality! We are overjoyed! <br>
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Plans work for a lot of people. Not only do some people make plans to help with maternity leave planning, some people have to go through stringent testing and planning to conceive. Planning is not a bad thing, if not necessary in so many cases.<br>
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Becoming a Mom for me was not born out of a plan back when I was a scared college senior and it has been a complete gift to carry that forward. God has been faithful and good to us! I never really imagined my body could birth 5 babies. I'm beyond humbled!<br>
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Baby #4 is due in early December!<br>
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And on a sidenote, Eric is looking for "Mr. Fix-It" referrals...wink, wink! <br>
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-44217521862022247672015-02-17T15:49:00.000-05:002015-02-17T15:49:17.598-05:00Essential Oils are Not My God!I have talked about my <a href="http://www.peterscorner.com/2014/04/my-newfound-passion-in-young-living.html">love for essential oils before</a>. My knowledge of the oils has grown. My business has grown. My usage has grown. It's truly become an awesome hobby! Several times a week I am giving samples of oils to friends and even strangers. Simon and Walker have become accustomed to oil deliveries on the front porch. We have had some incredible results. The oils are 100% natural with no synthetics which is right in alignment for where I want to be in becoming more green. We are using Young Living's Thieves Cleaner and have cut out 95% of all other cleaners including laundry detergent. I have cut out a lot of other OTC medicinal products and replaced them with oils. It's been awesome!<br />
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But...I recently became a little too obsessed with essential oils. I have had to repent many times to God asking him to forgive me for making them a god! I have chosen to use ONLY Young Living Essential Oils and they are a Multi-Level Marketing company. I am ok with that because I believe 100% in their products. I actually do not believe you can find the quality of essential oils with any other company. I know a lot of people have issues with MLM's and I understand that. MLM's rely on their worker bees to do the marketing for the company and in turn you get a pay off. Young Living calls these worker bees, like myself, distributors. I have actually been decently successful distributing Young Living over the past 10 months. I built a website with a friend in August. We created a brand, <a href="http://www.theeverydayoilers.com/">The Everyday Oilers</a> and have a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/theeverydayoilers">facebook page</a>. It's nothing amazing but it has had purpose. It's given us credibility, like when we were featured on <a href="http://www.cincychic.com/beauty/the-everyday-oilers">Cincy Chic</a>. And even though I hate saying this out loud (it's cringe worthy) I get super bored at home with the kids. I do work a day or two outside the home each week but my days at home with the kids are long and often mundane--the laundry, the food, the toys all over the house, the meal prep, the clean up, the wiping of butts, the fighting--oh the fighting! I think this new hobby has tapped into a need for me to work on something productive outside of housework and parenting. I also love teaching and have done a lot of teaching and coaching with the oil biz! So it all makes sense to me.<br />
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Here recently I have been getting close to jumping up in "rank"with Young Living. It's fun! It's rewarding! And it's <u>addicting</u>! If I jump rank, there are incentives to stay at that level and to grow to the next level within six months. It's like a cycle that once it starts it just keeps going. There's always another level and another goal to achieve. And the financial pay off is good enough that it makes you want to keep growing and getting bigger and making more money! None of this is bad but I have had a clear conviction that this oil thing is not a "hill I can die on". It's almost laughable to say out loud (probably to most people) but it's true. <br />
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I ABSOLUTELY LOVE talking about oils with fellow oilers. But I do not want to be known as the oil person who is going to make other people run the other direction when they see me coming or have them become so important that that is all I can talk about. Anyone reading this can easily identify a crazed MLM person obsessing about their AMAZING product that they represent.<br />
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I promised myself early on that I would not manipulate anyone for my financial gain. It's so not worth it! Do I see myself still using oils in 10 years? I actually really do! They have become an integral part of our daily lives. Even Eric is on board, though he still occasionally tries to offer OTC drugs first. :)<br />
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So here I am. I am trying to split the fence on this oil biz because I will still do the business. I still plan to teach classes and to continue to study oils and learn all that I can about them. If I happen upon the next rank level honestly without oils being a god then I will welcome it. But I do wonder if that is even possible. It seems that those who are highly successful in MLM companies become pretty consumed and rightly so. People make full time salaries off of MLM companies. But, alas, it probably won't be me! At the end of the day I am a Licensed Counselor and a Teacher for a reason. That is my heart! Sales is not my first love or my greatest success! <br />
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So, wish me luck on this splitting the fence thing and also stay tuned because I am currently learning about the ancient oils of the Bible and it is blowing my mind!! We are going to have our first Healing Oils of the Bible class in early March at our house and everyone will leave all oiled up, prayed up and covered in Scripture! I am so excited and that IS something I can get super excited about! <br />
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-38711706312321710862014-05-27T11:28:00.000-04:002014-05-27T14:14:13.062-04:00The New ManAlong with so many others, I have been blown away by <a href="http://www.crossroads.net/my/media/messages.php#205">The New Man series</a> at my church the past five weeks. It has been inspiring, affirming, encouraging and challenging for me personally and for our community. This series is relevant more than ever in our society. This message is necessary as so many men did not have a good example of a real man in their home to model themselves after. This message is freeing in that it calls men to be who they were created to be; that is to be Men instead of Boys. I highly encourage you to listen to the series. It will be relevant to you whether you are a man, woman, married, single, or divorced. If you have a man in your life that has emulated any of the characteristics of the man God created him to be, thank God and find ways to continually affirm him. If you are a parent, listen in an attempt to teach your sons about manhood and for your daughters to instil a standard that she will not compromise on. If you find yourself wanting to be married, listen with an open heart and allow the Lord to form a vision for your future. If you are a man who has caused harm to others in your life because you have acted like a boy instead of a man allow the Lord to redeem those areas and relationships by humbling yourself fully before Him and those you have hurt along the way.<br />
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Would you be surprised to hear that the women of our church community
have been reportedly thanking our leadership for these inspiring
messages? I am not surprised in the least. Women can be so quick to nudge the man beside them pointing the finger and yet women might be the most difficult to address in a similar fashion. Can you even imagine what would happen if a church, even <a href="http://www.crossroads.net/">Crossroads</a> preached a series on Womanhood? This would be so incredibly controversial, I cannot even fathom it. I can see the revolt now, women rising up saying, "Who is HE to tell me who to be as a woman?" <br />
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Ok, but seriously, who are we supposed to be as women? Our culture has been telling women to become like men: be strong, be independent, be able to provide for ourselves. Even sexually women have taken their sexuality into their own hands claiming that they have a right to be pleasured too coming out of generations where women's sexual needs have been under valued. Many women shudder when they hear the Biblical woman as described in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=NIV">Proverbs 31</a>. Where do we begin? This has got my heart and mind swirling. I'm asking the Lord to form the
answers more in my life. I have some ideas and I hope to share them
soon. My initial idea for a series title for womanhood might be something like: Women, Stand Down! Yes, I just said that.<br />
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Recently I had the privilege of witnessing a dear friend of mine lean into her husband's strength in unimaginable ways under heartbreaking, unjust circumstances. He fought for her and their family. He took responsibility for their loss, their hurts. He did all he could to protect them emotionally and physically. And you know what I will never forget? I saw her physically and emotionally lean into his strength, his protection, his loving arms. I have a visual of them sitting on the front pew that I will never forget. I literally saw her leaning on him and I saw a man with a strong back accepting her need for him. Oh my goodness. It still makes me tearful and gives me goose bumps.This exemplifies a man being who God has called him to be and allows his wife to benefit from his strength and courage. <br />
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So thankful for the work that the Lord is doing in our church, in our community and in our family. I have had the joy of listening to this series with much delight because of the Man I have in my husband. I appreciate the reminder to appreciate and affirm Eric for his leadership in our family and in his work. <br />
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<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-81355004381021209342014-05-06T16:28:00.002-04:002014-05-07T15:08:21.430-04:00The Day the Steve Harvey Show Had Me In Tears<div style="text-align: center;">
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Over the last three months it seems several days a week I'm feeding Eden and folding laundry around the 3 p.m. hour when The Steve Harvey show is on. He is always good for a laugh. Today, my ears piped up as I heard him announce he had adult twins looking for their birth-mom and even though they did not know it, their birth-mom was there to meet them for the first time.<br />
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<b><u>First Segment:</u></b><br />
As soon as the twins, who are in their mid-20s started to share about their life I immediately started having a negative reaction. They were saying things like, "We just want to thank her because if she hadn't given us up we probably wouldn't be where we are today." And "We believe we are better off because of the decision she made." These are honest and probably very true statements. I try to stay unbiased, I really do. But my heart bleeds for birth-parents. Both of the adoptees are very successful according to American standards: College grads, Christians, successful jobs, philanthropic involvements. They've obviously been given a solid foundation and are very blessed financially, physically and spiritually. While I can definitely celebrate that, I was thinking about how will that birth-mom feels as she listens to this? Will it make her feel better or feel worse? It was really bothering me. Certainly she wanted her twin babies to have a better life but that means she was not a part of it. <br />
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As I was listening to this I began to weep. Sometimes I feel angry that birth-parents <strike>are always</strike> seem to be known as what's NOT best for their kids. I feel angry that birth-moms on welfare are perceived as less than parents who have money. I feel angry when I hear adoptees say thank you to their birth-parents for giving them a BETTER life. <b>BUT, </b>what I realized more than my anger is that it just <b>HURTS so bad that I was not what was best for my first born.</b> That will never stop hurting! I know I'm not the stereotypical birth-parent. I wasn't on welfare. I was a recent college graduate. But, I decided that the most important thing for the my firstborn was a <u>two parent, Christian home</u> and THAT, I could not give her. And it hurts and it always will. Today the band-aid that covers this wound got ripped off, again. And the band-aid of grief that some of us know all too well will continue to get ripped off, oftentimes, when we least expect it.<br />
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<u><b>Second Segment:</b></u><br />
During the second segment the adopted twins were surprised by their birth-mother being there and met her for the first time. The male twin hung his head and wept. The female twin was absolutely speechless. She had no words. Adoptions should not go this way, <b><i>if at all possible</i></b>. No child should have to wonder where they came from, who they look like, and the BIGGEST question that almost every adoptee needs answered is WHY? Why did my birth-parent "give me up"? The female twin was clearly conflicted about the reunion and even said prior to the birth-mother coming out that she had a lot of questions. One question she wanted to ask is, "Did she ever think about us afterwards?" OH MY GOSH! That question breaks me!!! For any adopted person out there, trust me when I say that <b>your birth-mother has not gone 1 day without thinking about you</b>. Not one day! She wonders if she made the right decision. She hopes you are happy and healthy and that you will understand her decision and prays you never feel abandoned!<br />
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And then I cried again and I just had to pause and thank God that my firstborn will never have to search for me because she knows who I am. She knows my husband, my other children, my family. I am welcomed into her home and into her life. She's heard me tell her, "I Love You!" And I am so thankful for that. I can't imagine all of her questions are answered at this point but I thank God she knows I am here when/if more questions come. <br />
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Friends, Adoption involves LOSS. At some point in the process every member of the adoption triad is affected: adoptee, adopted parent, birth-parent. Today I witnessed loss as all three parties cried. I don't know what all of their tears meant but I pray some healing comes. God bless them all!<br />
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<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-88836462248454846372014-04-28T21:54:00.003-04:002014-05-07T14:27:56.186-04:00How Do I Get My Hands On These Oils You Keep Talking About?<div data-angle="0" data-canvas-width="519.6833135089873" data-font-name="g_font_12_0" dir="ltr" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 16.6667px; left: 80px; top: 913.266px; transform-origin: 0% 0% 0px; transform: rotate(0deg) scale(1.06452, 1);">
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<b>I want to try these oils for myself. What are my options to buy?</b></div>
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You may purchase the oils as Retail Customer or as a Wholesale Customer <a href="https://www.youngliving.com/signup/?isoCountryCode=US&isoLanguageCode=en&type=DISTRIBUTOR">here</a>. </div>
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<li><b>Retail Customer</b>: Purchase oils at Full Retail Price and no Starter Kit is needed.</li>
<li><b>Wholesale Member</b>: Purchase oils at wholesale pricing, which is 24% off retail. A Starter Kit purchase is required. The only requirement to begin & maintain your Wholesale Membership is a $50 purchase each year (covered the first year by both the <u>Basic Plus</u> or <u>Premium</u> Kits below). There is no monthly order required. </li>
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I want to become a <b>Wholesale Member</b>. What are the Starter Kit options?<br />
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<u><b>The Basic Starter Kit is $40</b></u> and contains the most up-to-date resource guide, Essential Oil Sample Packets, all-new product and business literature, and a 5 ml roll-on bottle of Stress Away. You are basically buying a year-long membership <i>without</i> getting the oils.</div>
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<li><u><b>The Basic Plus Starter Kit is $75</b></u> and includes everything in the Basic Starter Kit, plus an easy-to-use Home Diffuser. With this kit you are gaining the membership and a diffuser but again, <i>without</i> getting the oils. </li>
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<u><b>The Premium Starter Kit is $150</b></u> and includes everything in the Basic Starter Kit, plus a Home Diffuser and an Everyday Oils collection. The Everyday oils includes (10) 5ml bottles of oils: Lavender, Lemon, Peppermint, Thieves, Purification, Joy, PanAway, Peace and Calming, Frankincense, and Valor. Including the Stress Away bottle you get to try - 11 bottles of oil total. This is by far the best value considering the diffuser alone is $75 wholesale and $98.68 retail. </div>
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<u>Do I have to sell the oils?</u></div>
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<li>No, you do not have to sell anything as a wholesale member. </li>
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<u>How can I get started?</u><br />
<ul>
<li> <a href="https://www.youngliving.com/signup/">https://www.youngliving.com/signup/</a></li>
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<li>Choose whether you want to enroll as a retailer or become a wholesale member.</li>
<li><b>My Sponsor ID: <span style="font-family: Arial;">1577473 Enroller ID: </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">1577473</span></b></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Select which starter kit you want to purchase (assuming you choose wholesale). I highly recommend the Premium Starter Kit so you can get your hands on a lot of oils quickly. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Next, you will be asked if you would like to purchase an Essential Rewards Starter Kit. Learn more about Essential Rewards <a href="https://static.youngliving.com/en-AU/PDFS/essential_rewards_2013.pdf">Here</a>. {"I'm getting overwhelmed here,Priscilla!" I get it, I really do. You don't have to sign up for rewards right away. You can get in on the Rewards programs anytime!} </span></li>
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<u>I want to learn more!!!</u><br />
<ul>
<li>I would highly recommend doing your own research on Young Living Oils specifically. Here are a few great resources:</li>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toCDNZ4W5_M">Young Living's Seed to Seal Video</a> (7 min) Educate yourself on the quality of Young Living's oils. They are unmatched in my opinion. Knowing where your oil comes from and how it is made can make a world of difference in the results you will gain. Young Living does not add any synthetic oils to their bottles. When you purchase a bottle of Lavender you are REALLY getting a full bottle of lavender. You will get better results with a pure oil! </li>
<li>Get acquainted with all of the products that Young Living offers on their <a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US">website</a>. </li>
<li>Curious if these oils really work for people? I LOVE the oil-testimonials.com site. You can register for free <a href="http://www.oil-testimonials.com/1577473">here </a>and do basic searches. When I am interested in what people have found successful with a particular oil I search the name of the oil. For any kind of issue that you want to address you can search that specifically. ie: Anxiety, Teething, Sleep issues, Skin blemishes, energy, indigestion, etc.</li>
<li>If you do choose to sign up under me you have access at a discounted price of $6.99 for an <a href="http://www.naturallyhis.com/essential-oilers-handbook/">Essential Oiler's Handbook.</a> This is an excellent resource and offers so much good information. It is a downloadable copy that you can keep on your home computer or print off to take on the go. </li>
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-66515582105778004482014-04-27T21:54:00.005-04:002014-05-07T14:27:36.303-04:00My Newfound Passion in Young Living Essential Oils<br />
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<a href="http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.607990854672846416&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.607990854672846416&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0" height="118" style="opacity: 1;" width="200" /></a><br />
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Many of you have seen my Facebook feed blow up over the last 3-4 months with Essential Oils. I was first introduced to them last summer when my college friend, Lori used Lavender on Walker for his allergies. It helped him after one night of Lavender. As Fall approached our family had several different illnesses passing through us including Hand Foot Mouth Disease (all four of us), several colds and allergy flares and stomach bugs. I was nearing desperation for some health and wellness, especially as Eden's due date was quickly approaching.<br />
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After months of research, I begged Eric's blessing to purchase the <a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/opportunity/products/starter-kits/premium-starter-kit">Premium Starter Kit</a> through Young Living. It costs $150 and comes with 11 everyday oils (Lavender, Lemon, Peppermint, PanAway, Peace & Calming, Stress Away, Joy, Purification, Thieves, Frankincense & Valor) and it comes with a Diffuser. Many of the oils can be diffused and this particular diffuser can cover up to 1200 Sq Ft. which allows the oils to benefit the whole household. Many days I wish I had more than one diffuser.<br />
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I quickly went through several of my oils. My <b>initial successes</b> are as follows:<br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/blends/thieves-essential-oil">Thieves</a>: I put Thieves oil on the boy's feet every night before they go to bed. They love it and often ask for their oils. Immediately Walker's chronic runny nose was dried up. If either of the boys ever have any sniffles or signs of a cold coming on I up the "dose" and put Thieves on their feet several times a day and/or diffuse Thieves as well. One day I was going to make up my batch of Thieves (diluted 1 drop of Thieves to 4 drops of Olive Oil) and realized I was almost out. Panic!!!! It took me about a week to get another bottle in my house and what do you know....Walker got sick a few days after Eden's due date. Despite being overdue I was then asking the Lord to wait for her delivery until Walker was on the mend. That will be the last time I run out of Thieves oil. Neither of the boys have taken any prescription medications or Over the Counter drugs since I started using Thieves. I use it as a preventative and a restorative oil. Thieves can also be used to clear up Strep Throat. The other day Eric's throat started to hurt him and he gargled thieves once before bed and once the next morning and his sore throat was gone, in ONE DAY!<br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/home/natural-cleaning/thieves-household-cleaner">Thieves Household Cleaner</a>: You might say I'm obsessed with Thieves. When I read <a href="http://www.sweettmakesthree.com/2014/02/8-ways-keep-kids-healthy-winter/">this blog</a> one day I decided it was time to get a bottle of the cleaner. I have never been happier with a cleaning product. I use it on EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE! This is the only cleaner I have used for the past three months. I will be honest and say I have yet to master cleaning the toilet bowl with the spray bottle but I'm sure I'll find a solution soon. It smells amazing and no more stinging eyes or scratchy throat from cleaning! <br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/lemon-essential-oil">Lemon</a>: Some of my favorite uses for Lemon are for my water, to remove crayon off the walls (with no elbow grease), for the allergy bomb (lemon, lavender & peppermint), and to cut down a fever. It's one of the cheaper oils and I always want to have it on hand. <br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/lavender-essential-oil">Lavender</a>: A very popular oil. It's great for allergies. It promotes healing from cuts and scrapes. It has killed the nastiest diaper rashes on Walker mixed with Coconut oil. It promotes relaxation and can be used to help you get to sleep. I put it in my bath water after I had Eden to promote healing. It has sooooo many uses!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/blends/peace-calming-essential-oil">Peace & Calming</a>: A big favorite around here. When the boys are wild, I now have a simple solution. They each get a touch of P&C behind their ears and I take advantage of it and put what is left behind my ears. I have literally seen each of my boys calm down in less than five minutes after I put it on them and I love the smell. It's a hippie oil. Eric says he can't get used to our kids smelling like it. :) Peace and Calming is also used for anxiety and hyper-activity. I have not personally used it for either of those but have read numerous testimonies on them.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/singles/peppermint-essential-oil">Peppermint</a>: Smells amazing. Sometimes I just take off the cap and inhale Peppermint. It tastes delicious in Brownies. It helps stomach aches and promotes digestion. It can also be used for allergies. It is also used on headaches. <br />
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<a href="http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/products/essential-oils/blends/purification-essential-oil">Purification</a>: Four days before Christmas and 9 months pregnant I caught a stomach bug. It was nasty. Two days later Simon caught the bug. Eric's family was due to arrive the very next day and I was STRESSED OUT worrying that we would get everyone sick! Each day I would wake up waiting to see if there would be another victim. I was Saturday, Simon was Monday and my Mom caught the bug on Wednesday, Christmas day :( I felt terrible! As Eric's family was on their way I ran my diffuser constantly alternating between Purification (to help purify the air and anything that might be tempted to spread) and Thieves, which is also highly anti-viral and anti-bacterial. Luckily, none of his family caught the bug. I have also been using 2-3 drops of Purification in each load of my laundry. I started making my own detergent from Mama's Wellness Blog recipe in October and it is unscented. Purification adds a very pleasant scent and it is non toxic! Win-Win!<br />
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These are just a few of my favorite uses. I am waiting on a few new oils to try on my next order including Orange (is also used to calm nerves/tantrums) and Carrot Seed Oil to make my first batch of homemade Sunscreen.<br />
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The more I learn, the more I appreciate these oils! MANY people have been asking me for more information on the oils. I will save that for the next blog, coming soon!!!<br />
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Happy Oiling! <br />
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<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-41526343818297554522013-04-15T12:06:00.000-04:002014-05-10T12:20:31.347-04:00The Ode to the Big Blue CupAt times nursing a baby can feel like the life is being sucked out of you. Seriously, every time I leave my house for even an hour I typically try to grab a water to go to get me through. At times I feel when I am nursing that I cannot possibly get enough food to eat or water to drink. When we brought Walker home I chose the big blue cup and after a year of being by my side I dedicate this entry to the cup. I typically fill this cup up 8-10 times a day and try to keep it with me throughout the day. Does this sound silly? It is! And yet so very necessary. <br />
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Dearest Blue Cup,<br />
You have sustained me for 12 months. My body and Walker's body thank you!<br />
You have been at my bedside for 12 months to get me through the late night/early morning feedings.<br />
You have been a constant thought on my mind every day of the past year.<br />
You have been spilled at least 20 times by one of the family members as I continue to leave you all around the house.<br />
You have been a consistent topic of conversation. "Where is my cup?" "Has anyone seen my cup?"<br />
Eric at dinner, "Do you have a glass?" Me, "Where's my cup?"<br />
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And now, Dear cup, I say Thank you and cry a few tears as the year comes to a close and I don't need you as much as I used to.<br />
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<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-6648166338394277282013-04-02T22:26:00.002-04:002013-04-02T22:26:29.771-04:00Forgiveness: A TestimonyAs Simon continues to get older and is able to receive more training
we have been teaching him about forgiveness. When someone offends us we
say "I forgive you" instead of "That's ok". Simon has gotten really
good at this. If a friend of his hits him or takes something from him,
he typically has learned to respond with forgiveness and a hug. One of
the best parts about training our children, I am convinced, is that if
we do it well we are sure to find training for ourselves. In recent
months I realized that I hold onto the offenses of others, including the
offenses of Simon. One day I had a clear conviction telling me that I
must forgive Simon immediately and LET IT GO. It is hard to do when the
offenses come frequently from a toddler. As soon as he asks forgiveness
for yelling at me he often turns around and immediately disobeys
again. As I have been practicing forgiveness towards him it has been
surprisingly freeing and feels much better than wallowing. I also don't
want to offer my children conditional love or to ever make them feel
that they have to earn my love back after an offense. The Lord's Love
speaks nothing of conditions.<br />
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One day I said or did
something I was truly not proud of. While I can't remember the specifics
of what I did, said, or what tone of voice I used I hope I will never
forget the words out of Simon's sweet Spirit filled mouth. I asked his
forgiveness for what I said and how I said it. He easily and quickly
responded "I forgive you Mom". A few minutes later as we are driving in
the car I'm still feeling disgusted at myself and ask for forgiveness
again. He said, "But Mom I already forgave you!" WOAH!<br />
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Silenced and thankful! Lord, give me that childlike faith. The kind that involves immediate forgiveness, grace and love. Unknownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04657338392830118023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-48554707500068778032012-12-11T16:23:00.002-05:002014-05-07T14:27:07.229-04:00Baby ThingsTwo people gave me their lists of baby necessities and I still have it in my baby book. It was so nice to hear from some experienced mommas on what they found most useful. I've definitely done some things differently with Walker than I did with Simon. I wonder how many babies I would have to have before I got the newborn stage down. There are so many newborn nuances it can be very overwhelming.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>My Favorite Newborn books: </li>
</ol>
<ul>
<li> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Reference-Worldwide/dp/0971453209">Baby Wise</a>:
I have definitely found this book to be frustrating at times. Neither
of my boys have been Baby Wise perfection but I love the idea of
following a routine. I am a routine person. We also looked that the
parents that we really respect and many of them used this book so we
took that as an encouragement to check into it.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Communicate/dp/0345440900">The Baby Whisperer</a>:
This book is very similar in many ways to Baby Wise. It has some
awesome graphs for eating and sleeping needs at each development stage.
The author has some ideals about getting babies to sleep that we did not
follow but I use this as a resource consistently. <br />
</li>
<li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0345486455/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343243951&sr=1-1&keywords=healthy+sleep+habits+happy+child">Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child</a>:
Another great sleeping resource. I have never had the courage to try to
just let baby sleep how they want for the first 12 weeks. I am always
too afraid of developing bad habits. But I will say that I worked hard
on sleep training Walker and it took him exactly 12 weeks (from his
original due date) to get into a regular napping rhythm. This is more of
a research based approach to sleep. <br />
</li>
<li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343243973&sr=1-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block">The Happiest Baby on the Block </a>:
This is such a simplistic approach, one that we just pull out when we
need to. The five S's. Suck, Swaddle, Shhhhhhh, Side and Sway/Swing
(motion). There are times when one or more of these 5 S's save the day.
</li>
</ul>
<br />
2. All Things Nursing/Feeding<br />
<ul>
<li>Madela Pump. Someone once told me to not skimp on a good pump and I believe that is great advice! That being said I am on my 3rd used pump, aka hand-me-downs. All three have worked great for me. I don't work full time so I don't use it as much as others might. I have heard you can go to a clinic and have them test the power of your pump motor to ensure it's powerful enough. </li>
<li>Any nursing cover that has a built in wire. Mine is a <a href="http://www.bebeaulait.com/products/bebe-au-lait-nursing-covers">Bebe Au Lait</a>.</li>
<li>Lansinoh Breast Pads are my favorite and once my milk was more regulated I started using non disposable breast pads that I found on Diapers.com for daytime when I am less likely to have leakage. This has saved me a lot of money this time around.</li>
<li>Madela Breast milk storage bags</li>
<li>Madela Quick clean bags are so awesome!!! They didn't have these when I had Simon. I still wash all pump parts but then occasionally throw them in a bad in the microwave. Steam cleaned in 3 minutes. </li>
<li>Boppy pillow with a nice and soft cover which is usually not what comes with them. I use the one that comes with it to but much prefer the softer cover. It's definitely nice to have two of these when one is in the wash. (I've heard great things about the Breast Friend but never bought it)</li>
<li>Old cloth diapers make the best burp cloths. </li>
<li>Use Born Free bottles. Haven't had any issues with them.</li>
</ul>
3. Stuff: a brief entry on stuff because, well, I'm not big on stuff<br />
<ul>
<li>One play mat/play gym. This is also easy to borrow. They don't use them for very long.</li>
<li>One bouncy seat--An absolute necessity. I like one that can lay flat or adjust to sitting up for the different stages. </li>
<li>I skipped buying a swing and borrowed my sister's. Very expensive item that many ppl never use. Both of my boys barely used it.</li>
<li>I have adapted two different shelves into changing tables. Just put the big changing pad on top of a hip height book shelf. Built in storage. </li>
<li>We have the <a href="http://www.northriveroutfitter.com/baby-bjorn-carrier-original/?gclid=CLDJibeik7QCFYYWMgod3ggALQ">Bjorn baby carrier</a> and a <a href="http://zolowear.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ColorID=709">ring sling</a>. Like both. Walker took so many naps in the ring sling early on. </li>
<li>Strollers: When we had Simon we used the <a href="http://comfortfirst.com/p-45331-graco-ipo-lightweight-umbrella-stroller-in-platinum-6c00pti.aspx?gclid=CPDol_Sik7QCFck7Mgoddk8AKg">Graco Ipo umbrella</a> and the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Single-Snap-Stroller/dp/B000BMKEVC">Snap n Go</a>. We have gotten so much use out of both. My sister and a friend borrowed the Snap n Go. Perfect for short errands because it's lightweight and you don't have to move baby to put them in. Now we most use the <a href="http://www.cityministrollers.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=CSONX2&cvsfa=3427&cvsfe=2&cvsfhu=43534f4e5832&gclid=CN3Oysejk7QCFY1DMgod_hMAew">Baby Jogger City Select</a> with two seats. Holy Cow: It is deluxe!!!!! We love it! (We got a major discount from a friend hook up through Zappos and are still pinching ourselves b/c we usually don't have "Nice" things). We have a single and double Baby Jogger running stroller. Love them both! Got one used for free and one off craigslist. </li>
<li>No strong opinions over things like cribs, high chairs, etc other than don't overspend.</li>
<li>If we had it to do over we would have gotten a nicer pack and play because we noticed that the more expensive the better cushion on the mattress. Ours is more like a piece of card board with a little cushion over it but it still works. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-18383207552930938822012-09-18T16:49:00.002-04:002014-05-07T14:26:53.523-04:00Parenting Survival 101: Establish Mom FriendsHaving Mom friends is nothing I ever thought about until I became a stay-at-home Mom to Simon. I was so excited to stay home with Simon in many ways and yet scared to death. I crave structure and predictability. I thrive on working with people, hello Extrovert. It only took me a few days of being a Mom to realize there is little structure and hardly any predictability. And yes, trust me I still try to achieve it! You can only do so much to get your kids to conform to your structured schedule. In addition to those challenges, I am the not- so-typical woman who does NOT like to spend money and I dislike running errands and shopping. To this day I strategically run errands by combining trips so as to limit my time running around. So much for buying time running errands and shopping!<br />
<br />
In the beginning of my time at home I can remember Eric leaving for work on many days and just feeling a pit in my stomach. Oftentimes, I would cry. If I was feeling very resentful and Eric would wish me a good day I'd shoot back "You have a great day <u>working</u>. I'd do anything to go to <u>work</u>!" On some of Eric's not-so-smart moments he would respond saying "I'd do anything to stay home with Simon!' Not a good thing to say to a very lonely and struggling new mom.<br />
<br />
Here I sit though, almost three years later, and I can honestly say I am so blessed to stay at home with Simon, and now Walker. The Lord has been so faithful to me and has continuously laid a fruitful path before me.<br />
<br />
I have even gotten to a place where I have had to strip back our activities and play dates so that we could stay home more. Some days Simon just wants to stay home in his pajamas and not be rushing out the door all in the name of a "play date". He can say that to me now, so I listen. I wonder how many times he would have asked me if we could just stay home before he had the voice to.<br />
<br />
<br />
Even though I have a supportive husband and a loving community, I needed to develop more Mom friends. It was one of those things that I had no idea I needed until I was desperate. Who else wants to hear about poop stories, failed attempts to get kids to sleep, how do I get my body back, nursing struggles, lonely days, etc. Rest assured, the whole world doesn't need to hear it on Facebook. But good Mom friends do care to hear your experiences. Good Mom friends offer encouragement, even when you are being 100% irrational. Good Mom friends bring spontaneous coffee and food deliveries! (Yes, that's happened to me and it was amazing!)<br />
<br />
Two years ago I felt a prompting to seek a Moms group and at that time my church did not have one. When I inquired about it at church I was offered the privilege/task to start one. After having Walker I realized that over half of the meals we received were from families we met through the Moms community group. What a huge blessing of community that Moms group has brought to me. I have connected with so many women through this Moms group. And recently have begun to see the joy of extending those connection to our whole families.<br />
<br />
Moms, do whatever you have to in order to develop your Mom Friends! We need each other! <br />
<br />
<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-10722323061681262632012-06-29T15:14:00.002-04:002014-05-07T14:26:15.712-04:00The Entitled ParentAn innocent brief conversation with my good friend Lisa led to another brief conversation with my Mom and then they worked their way through my heart.<br />
<br />
After having dinner with our families Lisa and I were cleaning up the dishes (meaning rinsing them and putting them into the automated dish washer). I made a comment, which I now find embarrassing, "Can you believe I lived in an apartment for five years without a dishwasher?" Terribly rough life. Then Lisa said her Mom with four kids never had a dishwasher. I asked her if she ever complained and Lisa said No. Hmmm, we both paused slightly.<br />
<br />
A few days later my Mom was with us for the day and we got on a similar subject. We were talking about husbands helping out with the kids. To sum it up, it would appear that many husbands are helping out at home with the kids and housework more today than ever before and yet I often feel unsatisfied. And I know I'm not alone in this. Stay at Home Moms are the worst culprits. It's almost like we want our husbands to pay because clearly we are paying for it (dang it!).<br />
<br />
The truth is I couldn't ask for more from Eric. He walks in the door, rushes upstairs to change his clothes and engage with the family. Many times he takes Simon upstairs with him to help give me the chance to finish up dinner or to take care of Walker. Typically after we eat, he engages the kid(s) while I clean up so that we can do something as a family before bedtime. Some of our dearest friends shared with us long before we we became parents that the Dad took on the bedtime routine. We chose to do that as well, particularly to allow some good time with Simon and Eric when he was a baby since I was the one who did 95% of the feedings. It gave them a chance to have "their" time.<br />
<br />
Why do I throw myself a pity party when I don't get to drink hot coffee? Why do I huff and puff as I clean up the dishes for the third time in the day? Why do I feel a sense of pride and desire acknowledgement for doing my daily tasks as a Mom? Upon further reflection, I believe I've bought into the entitlement bug. I spoke about this in a previous <a href="http://www.peterscorner.com/2011/03/postmodern-effects.html">post</a> without realizing that I am not out of the woods on this struggle myself. While being a Mom is hard work, it is my primary role right now and yes, most days it is anything but glamorous. Since I am in newborn land again I am feeling the pull even more as I'm trying to find a new routine with our new addition and struggling to even get a shower.<br />
<br />
Many of us Moms tell each other we deserve our "ME" time and we deserve a break. Our husbands should help. We don't get a break, so why should they? While breaks are very healthy and often necessary, feeling entitled to certain things seems to cause destructive thinking. Oh dear, I guess I should just be completely honest. Why do I get upset when Simon won't nap? Because I DESERVE A BREAK!" I've got to find a way to embrace my role as a Mom, with the good, bad and the ugly because when I become overwhelmed I typically become resentful and that is not helpful for anyone, including me. And I don't want my kids to remember me huffing and puffing while I do the dishes. And I don't want to model entitlement by claiming <u>my own</u> time or <u>my own</u> special things. And just because I have hard days, doesn't mean I need to project my frustration onto my husband. (He's going to enjoy reading this admission!) <br />
<br />
I want to be done with the entitlement. If you are with me and hear me start talking like this, please shut me up! No, I'm serious. (Even you Mom and Eric!) <br />
<br />
<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-45981638704792300242012-04-30T10:54:00.001-04:002013-01-07T21:57:46.665-05:00Walker's Birth Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">* Please Note: This is not a blog post for everyone. This is definitely
written for myself, Walker and all my Mommy friends who love hearing
birth stories. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ouch...still hurting</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this picture of Eric and I. I think I'm saying, "Did that really just happen?"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finally able to smile for the camera</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simon meeting Walker for the first time</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BwJp8yD4OhE/T53Gwr7cB1I/AAAAAAAAAHc/VV96tA_eoic/s1600/DSC_0681.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BwJp8yD4OhE/T53Gwr7cB1I/AAAAAAAAAHc/VV96tA_eoic/s320/DSC_0681.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our New Family of Four!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In love with this sweet boy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coming Home!!</td></tr>
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* Please Note: This is not a blog post for everyone. This is definitely written for myself, Walker and all my Mommy friends who love hearing birth stories. <br />
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A little background:<br />
My firstborn was due on April 15 and was born on April 11, four days early. I woke up at 4 a.m. with contractions, lost my plug around 10 a.m. went to work in labor from 1-5 p.m. and worked through the contractions. On my way home from work I realized I am really starting to have some pain here. Decided after regular contractions to head to the hospital around 7 p.m. Got the epidural by 11 p.m. or so and delivered at 2:30 a.m. Easy breezy delivery!!<br />
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Simon was due on September 17th and was born on September 27, 10 days late. Three days before he was born I had my membranes stripped to try to induce labor. I also walked about two hours the day before he was born. I was three days from our scheduled induction (the midwife practice would not allow me to go past 14 days late) and I was getting desperate to meet my baby. Simon was posterior and I was in hard painful labor for 8 hours. Those 8 hours Eric was putting pressure on my back constantly. The pain was constant even between contractions. I chose a natural birth with Simon and it was to date one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. Eric and I proved to be an amazing team together and we experienced a new level of bonding. It was incredible! The labor was very tough but when the pain got to be too much, I dug so deep within and went into "the zone" and I felt super human when it was over. <br />
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Walker was due on April 10 and was born on April 22, 12 days late. I was having very regular Braxton Hicks contractions for Walker for six to eight weeks prior to delivery. I was walking almost every day about 2 miles. I was ready for Walker's arrival at least a month prior to his birth. Waiting is not my strong suit and when Eric started getting anxious I knew this was not good b/c he has the patience of a saint. One week passed and we were headed into the second week overdue and were contemplating an induction at 10 days overdue so that we could take advantage of a weekend birth. We decided though to wait the weekend out and would look at an induction on day 14 or 15 overdue. On Sunday, April 22 I woke up at 7 a.m. with regular contractions, but I had learned not to look into that too much because I had experienced a lot of regular and even painful contractions before. But I did start praying and I text my Mom, Rachel and Sarah and said we need to pray for a baby today. I struggle with praying theologically. My prayer has been for peace and contentment and surrender for a plan bigger than my own. Who am I to ask to have a baby on a specific day? I really believe that baby's come when they are ready but as we continued to crawl past our due date, I lost sight of that at times. On Sunday, I was ready to start praying for the Lord to bring baby Walker and at 8 a.m. my water broke! Yes!!!!<br />
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I called Dr. Bowen and we decided I could either come in or wait it out a bit. I had Group B Strep so we had a window of time to play with before we would need to get me in to start antibiotics for the GBS. My parents came and Eric and I started walking. As we walked contractions picked up in pain level and frequency. We decided to head on in around 11 a.m. By 12:30 we were in our room, meds administering for GBS and non stress test going. We then walked the halls for a while and labor began to pick up. Our friend, Sarah arrived around 1-1:30 and she was there to help support us and she also took all of the amazing black and white photos above. My parents arrived around 2:15 and as they were coming in I was starting to have some painful contractions. At 3:05 I had my nurse check me again and I was at 6 cm. She said I had a lip on my cervix that had not given yet on my right side and that if I would lay on my right side it might give way. Thank goodness for her wisdom!!! The last thing I wanted to do was lay on my side but I did it and I never got up. I was pushing at 3:35 just 30 minutes later. Once I got on my side the pain intensified incredibly and I lost it. I never got into "the zone". I felt and acted out of control. I kept telling Eric and Sarah that I could not do this. If I had known I was going from a 6 to full and ready to push in those thirty minutes, I would have been fine mentally but the pain was so intense so fast I was scared to death. I really did not think I could endure that pain for too much longer. All of a sudden I felt something hot coming out and I knew it was blood. Eric paged the nurse and when she came in she called to break down the bed and it was GO TIME! I was yelling during contractions, "He's coming right now! I can feel him coming!" It was so insanely different from Simon's natural birth. I was in so much pain I didn't think I could move from my side. The nurse wanted to check me and I remember clamping my legs together as hard as I could. I couldn't bare the thought of being touched. At this point Eric had text my Mom, Dad and Rachel (who were down the hall in the waiting room) and told them to come NOW! And about 6 more medical personnel had joined the room. I remember asking what we were waiting on and the response was my Dr. "No we aren't!!!," I said. We're doing this NOW! From this point, I felt like the room erupted into chaos. And this is the part of Walker's birth story I don't like. His heart rate dropped and I felt like everyone was yelling at me to push. At some point they put oxygen on me. I was pushing but I was fretting. The resident OB was standing away from me looking like a dear in headlights and the bed wasn't broken down. No one was taking charge in the room. Some loud nurse to my left kept saying that I need to push now. We need to get the baby out NOW. And then I was asking if he was ok. Ugh. I believe my Dr. would have calmed down that room in 2 seconds. He did come in while I was pushing and coached the resident on how to catch baby Walker. Whew! (On a sidenote: I wish I had waited for my Dr. in hindsight. But in the moment, the ring of fire was saying I had to push right then!!)<br />
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When the labor was over, I didn't feel relief or accomplishment like I did with Simon. I think I was in shock for a while. Once all those crazy back ups got out of the room and it was just my calm and collected Dr., my beloved natural birth momma Nurse and my support folk, the room took on a lighter feel and I could begin to relax. I really don't know how dangerous things got but the very last thing any natural birthing momma needs or wants is chaos in the birth room. Yikes! I wished I had been in the zone and calm and level headed but I was not this time. I was scared and it was not a calm environment but he is here and he is beautiful! And I would have another baby tomorrow! It's so worth all of the pain and ALL of the WAITING! If I am able to have another baby, I should know to just scoot my due date back a few weeks next time :) <br />
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They say every birth is different and that could never be truer for me. My mom has always been nervous about me getting to the hospital on time because she had me in the car. Similar to my experience with Walker, if I had waited until the pain was unbearable I would not have made it to the hospital. Never have I been more convinced than now that the baby's position makes all the difference in a delivery. Walker was in great position and it didn't take as much time for him to come.<br />
<br />Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-43414677982668546362012-03-20T16:15:00.001-04:002013-01-07T22:14:24.977-05:00An Orphan HeartOur church recently did a series called "A Place at the Table". This series was largely based on the book From Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship by Jack Frost. I had the privilege of attending a Leadership event at our church in January and we all received a copy. This is an excellent book and a concept that I believe many long-term Christians have not accepted. We are all God's spiritual Daughters and Sons. During one particular service they interviewed a mom of three biological children and some adopted children. My heart is very sensitive to adoption and I was blessed by her story.<br />
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My thoughts were all over the place. As we continue to approach baby boy's due date and my firstborn's birthday (they are the same!) my heart is tender around so many subjects.<br />
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I have a story about an orphan heart too. Part of having my firstborn daughter, who was very unplanned was actually a part of my healing through my orphan heart. I had been going to counseling for about 8 months when I found out I was pregnant. My primary concern was an eating disorder, better described as a very distorted body image. Two of my closest friends approached me and suggested that it was time to get help for my eating disorder and they were right. At that time, I had only three different meals I would eat very rigidly. I was running almost daily, training for a half marathon but also largely accepting an excuse to exercise in excess. I was relieved at their confrontation because I really knew it was high time I found some help. The help I needed wasn't really about the eating disorder, although I did also participate in a Body Image Support Group at that time that was helpful. My greatest need was addressing my orphan heart. My counselor who I will forever cherish was central to leading me toward healing.<br />
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At that time my orphan heart looked like: trying to earn God's favor by doing good things and attending lots of worship services, competition with others, distrustful at times of authority. I was in bondage to spiritual slavery and had not yet known what freedom in Christ was. I worked so hard to please others which is just exhausting. You never feel like you win when you constantly seek others approval. I had no idea that I was on the cusp of being laid completely bare. I was about to be stripped down from all of my armor during my healing process. It's so ironic that I truly believe this period of time through counseling and allowing God to heal me that I actually abused that freedom and paid a very high price for it through my unplanned pregnancy.<br />
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During a successive service in this series, the theme stripped down completely kept coming to my mind. I have had so many worldly successes and a very blessed life. In fact, success has been something that has come easy to me on many different fronts (school, work, friends, opportunities, etc). There have been many times over the past 10 years that I have felt completely stripped down and humbled. My adoption story was the first. About five years ago I was really enjoying singing on "main stage" at my church. I got married in July 2007 and July 2007 was the last time I ever got asked to sing on "main stage" again. I felt so rejected and stripped down, left wondering what in the world I did wrong to be cut from the list of singers after serving on that team for two years. I still don't know the answers to any of my questions but I do know it led me on a spiritual journey forcing me to face how much of my identity was involved in that singing position. Feeling rejected hurt me bad but as always, there is room for growth in the pain. I now sing at one of our satellite locations and my ego no longer needs to be filled by having the opportunity to sing on a big stage anymore. There are many levels of growth that came from that rejection. <br />
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In recent years, I failed a counseling licensure test not once (which is somewhat common) but twice (which I have yet to find another person who had the same experience). The second time I took this licensure exam some of the residents at CCU made a good luck sign for me and I was so humbled when I had to come back to tell them I failed, again. <br />
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When I had my miscarriage last February I felt completely stripped down again. I felt like my body failed and I took on some sort of responsibility for this. <br />
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I still have days when I really want to please people. I still have conversations I walk away from second guessing myself and if what I said was perceived as it was intended. I still struggle to be humble, though I've come a long way. But I can say, without question that I have accepted my place at the table of the Lord as His daughter. I believe He loves me unconditionally and accepts me. I believe He continues to discipline me out of love and I accept that. There will no doubt continue to be pruning in this area but what I really felt throughout this series at our church was gratitude for the ways the Lord has healed my orphan heart.<br />
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As a parent, I want to model love from a daughter of the King and not from an orphan heart. I don't ever want to model conditional love no matter what obstacles we may face as a family. I want them to see me respecting and submitting to authority so that I can teach them how to do the same. I want them to see me accepting of others' weaknesses and faults. <br />
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I have by no means arrived but thank God for the journey and for a church that leads me towards more healing and growth.Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-39073477490624022002011-12-01T13:51:00.002-05:002011-12-01T13:56:05.884-05:00Using Empathy with Children<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> 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mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Using Empathy With Your Children</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Empathy has changed my life.<span style=""> </span>I first became aware of the concept when I was in graduate school studying counseling.<span style=""> </span>My supervisor taught me the art of using empathy.<span style=""> </span>There are several things people often get hung up on when they are "listening" to others. Problem solving is often a way that people respond to others when "listening". Oftentimes, problem solvers come across as pushing their own agenda.<span style=""> </span>It can also feel more stressful when you are just trying to share something with someone and they suggest solutions that you don't need or have no interest in.<span style=""> </span>Another<span style=""> </span>hang up is that some people think if they respond to what the speaker is saying with empathy it feels like they are agreeing with the person.<span style=""> </span>That's not necessarily true. You can be empathic and not agree with someone.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">While I can't teach a whole seminar worth of information on empathy in a brief blog post, I would like to offer up some food for thought when it comes to using empathy with our children.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> Empathy works wonders with children.<span style=""> </span>It doesn't matter if your child or teenager is being completely irrational and overly emotional. Tapping into the emotion they are expressing is a great way to love our kids. Let me give you some examples.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><u>To the two year old who is having trouble sharing his toys</u>: "It's hard to share your toys."He responds, in dramatic tears, "Yeah".<span style=""> </span>You give each other a hug and stick with the plan of making him share <u>but</u> you've acknowledged that it's frustrating and difficult to share.<span style=""> </span>He feels <u>understood</u> by you.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><u>To the five year old girl who is crying because she wants to wear a certain skirt to church that you have decided is not an option</u>: "Honey, you are disappointed that you can't wear the skirt that you had in mind to church today."She responds, "Yes, I WANT to wear THAT one (whiney voice)" .<span style=""> </span>Mom responds, "I know you love that skirt but today it's not an option. "<span style=""> </span>She still doesn't like the response but she at least heard you acknowledge her disappointment.<span style=""> </span>She feels <u>acknowledged</u>, especially considering your response could have just been "No, because I said so!".</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><u>To the 8 year old boy who is not ready to come in from playing outside at bedtime</u>: "I know you're annoyed that you have to come in before all the other boys and it doesn't seem fair".<span style=""> </span>He responds: "It isn't fair Mom."<span style=""> </span>Mom responds, "I understand it feels unfair but 8:00 p.m. is the rule at our house."Of course, he still believes it's unfair but at least he knows he was <u>heard</u>.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><u>To the 13 year old girl who got dumped by her "boyfriend" for her best friend</u>: "Honey, you feel crushed that he chose her over you." This urges her to continue to share..."It feels awful Mom. It's embarrassing!"<span style=""> </span>Then you can take the opportunity to build into your daughter and tell her why you think she is special.<span style=""> </span>She feels like her world is shattered. 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locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><u>To the 17 year old boy who is not going to make a college football team</u>: "You have worked so hard Son and you feel so defeated right now." He responds saying, "I do feel defeated Mom. It feels like everything I've worked for in football for the past 10 years is a waste."<span style=""> </span>Now, you have a chance to offer him some encouragement which will especially be received because his feelings have been <u>validated</u>!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">I know, I know, you probably think I'm nuts but I encourage you just to try practicing some empathy with your kids. I am 100% confident it will make an impression on them. An impression that will be lasting. They will feel heard, understood, validated and important.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style=""> </span></p>Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-9138836481486876292011-11-19T19:56:00.011-05:002014-05-07T14:24:47.471-04:00IT'S A....Having a Gender Reveal Party was a great way to celebrate our new baby. We invited our local friends and asked them to dress in either pink or blue. Eric pulled out his special gift from some dear friends from India and I also chose to wear blue. Eric said his gut said a boy. I couldn't decide between boy or girl but chose to wear blue. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2AP9MCpyZFE/TshQpRS4WDI/AAAAAAAAAD0/jkT7whSH5qM/s1600/DSCF0421.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2AP9MCpyZFE/TshQpRS4WDI/AAAAAAAAAD0/jkT7whSH5qM/s320/DSCF0421.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676876000247961650" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 240px;" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PPNRXfn3r-Y/TshRLxDhvlI/AAAAAAAAAEA/mdranLj30IU/s1600/DSCF0423.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PPNRXfn3r-Y/TshRLxDhvlI/AAAAAAAAAEA/mdranLj30IU/s320/DSCF0423.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676876592889052754" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 240px;" /></a><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 180%;">ANOTHER BOY!!!<br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
We had such a great night with friends celebrating adding another BOY to our family. We played some silly games, including testing out the old wives' tale with the string and ring. Our friend Daphane tried it first and sure enough it twirled indicating a girl. I tried it right before we cut the cake and it also indicated correctly, a boy.<br />
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My Mom and Dad kept Simon overnight so we took some cake pops to share with with Simon and my parents this morning. Simon still says he wants a girl but he also says he's a girl, so there you have it.<br />
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We are Praising God for another Baby Boy! Can't wait to meet him sometime in April (EDD: April 10).Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-19229984406241826392011-10-25T14:58:00.004-04:002014-05-07T14:24:27.228-04:00Coming Out of the Closet: "I'm a Birth Mom!"There I said it! <br />
<br />
Sometimes people don't even know what that means. I have had to explain so many times what a Birth Mom is. I placed my firstborn child for adoption. One time I had a midwife just not getting it. So I continued and continued to try to explain it. By the end we were both sweating. <br />
<br />
It really must be that uncommon...or maybe birth parents are just underrepresented.<br />
<br />
What's the balance between not defining who I am based on this title and yet honoring that it is a significant part of who I am?<br />
<br />
When I got hired at CCU to be the RD I remember in my interview answering honestly to what I had been doing the past few years since undergrad. I said I had a baby that I placed for adoption and I needed to take some time to heal so I worked for a year as a waitress and a substitute teacher and lived with my parents to save money and to focus on healing emotionally. The responses from the interview team varied but I remember the lady who would become my boss saying that she would expect me not to share that with the CCU students. (Shame Inducing Statement) Of course, I knew that the goal would not be to share it with every student but what was I suppose to do with my pictures of my firstborn? I didn't want to hide them because that felt like I had done something wrong.<br />
<br />
When I had to sit across from the Dean of Student Development at Anderson University (a man I deeply respected and babysat for) to share with him the news of my unplanned pregnancy which was particularly relevant to him as I was the Director of New Student Orientation that was to take place in just four weeks from that time I will never forget his response. He prayed for me and he said "Priscilla, I believe this is going to be a redeemed story in your life." What a profound statement. Thank you God, it is! But I have been shy to tell it. I fear others' responses. I fear being misunderstood or even judged. I hear comments that were made to me when I chose adoption for my firstborn. "You are a disgrace to our family!...How dare you name your daughter Grace!" "I can't help it that you don't WANT your daughter!" "God has told me you are making the wrong decision!" And honestly I could go on with that list. No matter how hard I try to forget I still hear all of those judgmental statements in my head. <br />
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One of the greatest conundrums I have found in regarding sharing this description of myself as a Birth Mom is that that title and what that means to me is one of the most precious things in my heart and in my life. The way I feel about my firstborn and the way I feel as a Birth Mom is so precious that I feel completely naked every time I share it with someone for the first time. I put open myself up to be judged, criticized, and even misunderstood. Sometimes I am not strong enough to put those false accusations to rest. When I am weak I wonder if people are right?<br />
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I have to constantly bring myself back to the truth:<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul>
<li>I am a Birth Mom to beautiful 8 1/2 year old girl.</li>
<li>I have the privilege of sharing in her life through open adoption.</li>
<li>I don't have to feel shame about my unplanned pregnancy. I know that God forgave me.</li>
<li>I don't have to feel ashamed of my decision. I made the best decision I knew to make at that specific time in my life, with my specific circumstances.</li>
<li>I don't have any control of what ultimately comes from this situation. I pray that my firstborn will not feel abandoned by her birth family. I pray she will know she was and is loved and was never unwanted. </li>
<li>The truth is always best. My firstborn knows who I am. She is still gaining a complete understanding of it. My son, Simon and any future children will always know the truth of our family. I want my children to know all of who their Mom is. </li>
</ul>
When I became a Pregnancy and Adoption Counselor at Catholic Charities, it was understood that I wouldn't share my with clients that I am a Birth Mom. And I agreed with this from a professional perspective. But I also realize that nine years later, I have largely hidden this aspect of my life from people. In the most recent years, I have tried to practice just mentioning it when it's appropriate. I don't always correct people when they refer to the number of children I have or the number of pregnancies I have had incorrectly. I don't always tell people but I am starting to try to integrate this as naturally as I can into my life. It's been freeing.<br />
<br />
Every time I get pregnant, I just become overwhelmed, almost consumed with thoughts about adoption and being a birth parent. I think it just stirs my heart thinking about to my first pregnancy and delivery experience and all of the raw emotions and stories that come with that. I really believe I need to share my story, all of it. From this point on, I am going to shamelessly practice writing about this on our blog. It just might end up in a book, even if it's never published. </div>
Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-10674018774425682822011-10-25T14:28:00.008-04:002014-05-07T14:24:02.045-04:00Pregnancy After Miscarriage<span style="font-family: times new roman;">As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, I was shocked when I had my miscarriage at 12 weeks in February. I have always heard one of the best indicators for future healthy pregnancies is previous healthy pregnancies and a flawless medical history, of which I had. </span> <span style="font-family: times new roman;">Then the new reality of life after miscarriage came when I got pregnant again this past July. I knew it would be hard to go through another pregnancy following the miscarriage but I was not fully prepared for all the ways it has been hard. I have realized that over the past 15 weeks I have at times been nearly paralyzed by fear. I know this also goes back to me being a birth mother and relinquishing my firstborn to another family through adoption. I guess a second loss around becoming a parent has really triggered a lot of fear for me. I have tried to process this endlessly and I think I've come to the realization that my biggest fear is that I just don't know how much more loss I can bear. If this pregnancy does not last I wonder if I will have the strength and courage to keep trying. I also just want to know the outcome now, even if it's not the outcome I want. </span> <span style="font-family: times new roman;">It has been a very long 15 weeks. Every first trimester has been the same for me. I start throwing up daily (usually multiple times) somewhere between weeks 5-8 and continue until 14-16 weeks. That part alone is very exhausting and draining. I don't feel like myself. I wake up dreading to get out of bed because I know I'm heading straight to the toilet. And the rest of the day is up in the air as far as whether or not I'll be able to eat and keep food down. I suppose the physical exhaustion has contributed to the emotional exhaustion. We know that is usually the case since we are holistic beings, of which each part affects the other. </span> <span style="font-family: times new roman;">Pregnancy after miscarriage has looked like this for me: </span> <br />
<ul style="font-family: times new roman;">
<li>Pregnancy test response: a pit in Eric and I's stomach. Of course we were excited but also felt hesitant to celebrate.</li>
<li>Hesitant to tell others: after the miscarriage I now realize you have to untell every person you tell. I have found myself trying to "hide" this pregnancy from a lot of people.</li>
<li>Hiding feels shame based: Somewhere deep down I somehow feel ashamed of my miscarriage. I know rationally speaking, I had no control of that. But somewhere in my heart it feels like a personal thing.</li>
<li>I despise the prodding of others to choose optimism: I am a realist. I choose reality. "Now come on, we're not going to think like that. Everything will be fine!" I'm not going to put myself at risk for being ignorant. Right or wrong, I try to prepare myself for either reality, which has naturally led me to holding back.</li>
<li>Holding back in embracing this pregnancy: I find myself not fully embracing this baby, even though I'm not proud to say that. I have listened to Selah's song "I Will Carry You" countless times b/c my heart is really to get to a place where I can say before God and this baby "you are mine to carry for this time. I embrace you today no matter what the outcome". Ironically enough, this is the best advice I received when I was pregnant with my firstborn. A critical moment of choosing to dive into my pregnancy regardless of the outcome (parenting vs. adoption) even though it felt like I was accepting more risk of pain if I chose adoption. Reality is I had much less regret b/c I knew I had fully embraced her both in utero and in the time I had with her at the hospital. I don't want to regret how I handle this.</li>
<li>Doctors appointments involve a lot of nerves and sweating: I will never forget how it felt to have the ultrasound tech not find a heartbeat on the screen back in February. I actually have had many dreams/nightmares that this will happen again. I am currently nervous about our 18 week ultrasound for fear of the baby not being alive and/or not growing right.</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: times new roman;">I think that about sums it up. In sharing this, it is both cathartic for me but I also hope that when we come across people in a similar situation as mine, that maybe we can be more empathic with each other. That's not to say family and friends have not been empathic. It's just a lot of times, we don't invite each other into our private thoughts. I recently had a conversation with a lady who had a similar experience and she shared that I may not feel overall relief until I deliver a healthy baby. I appreciated that feedback. It felt good to think that maybe I'm not alone in my craziness.<br /><br />We have also decided to do a Baby Gender Reveal Party. We really want to embrace this baby boy or girl and thought this party would help us as we continue to move forward. So on Wednesday (assuming baby cooperates) the ultrasound tech will write baby's gender on a piece of paper and we will take it to a baker without looking. With friends on Friday night, we will all find out the gender together when we cut into a cake and it is either pink or blue inside. Stay tuned for pics ;)</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: times new roman;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: times new roman;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: times new roman; font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer: although it was not emphasized I do realize how blessed I am to be a normally healthy person (of which many people cannot say) and that I am also blessed to be able to conceive and to have carried successfully in the past.</span>Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-66668989602626924712011-09-14T15:32:00.004-04:002014-05-07T14:23:30.554-04:00A Tribute to my Mom<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JR7w5m8mots/TnELuIISBLI/AAAAAAAAADs/OZa2Ad5Z4pk/s1600/516.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUK_nSSCTRk/TnEK-Gowo5I/AAAAAAAAADk/mviC_EQmXdQ/s1600/191.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a>
This blog post came to me a few nights ago when I couldn't sleep. It's funny how that always seems to happen. I recently told Eric that I want to be a Fun Mom. Please note: Fun Mom does not = Cool Mom.<br />
<br />
My Mom was a very fun Mom and I honor her for that today. I remember her dancing in the kitchen while she was making dinner or doing dishes. She never swept the floor without doing a little jig with the broom. I remember her putting whole chickens that she would clean up on the counter and making it "talk" to us. I remember her doing synchronized index finger dancing on the steering wheel while she was driving. I will always remember a story she told me about a time she was pushing me in the stroller into Elder Beerman (throw back) and the stroller totally collapsed on me. And after she checked to make sure I was ok we both erupted into uncontrollable laughter. When we recall certain stories like that one, we still share a contagious laughter. My sister gets in on that too. And our husbands, including my dad, will just sit there looking confused because they have no idea what we are laughing about. She was a fun Mom and that sense of humor, that good old fashioned fun never compromised her authority or the structure that our family had. When I was living at home after college I finally talked my mom into getting her eyebrows waxed. I went with her to support her. When that tech pulled off the tape for the first time we died laughing at the whole eyebrow that was on the tape. Then we laughed again when she took off a whole other eyebrow with the next tape. Mom looked in the mirror and she still had the equivalent of an eyebrow left. We couldn't stop laughing and I think the Esthetitian thought we were nuts. But another remarkable thing about my Mom is that she can laugh at herself.<br />
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Here's my Mom having fun square dancing with her partner Mae at our wedding:<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JR7w5m8mots/TnELuIISBLI/AAAAAAAAADs/OZa2Ad5Z4pk/s1600/516.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JR7w5m8mots/TnELuIISBLI/AAAAAAAAADs/OZa2Ad5Z4pk/s320/516.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652311894410790066" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 214px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<br />
My Mom was not a Cool Mom. She has never worn hip clothes. She never wears makeup (unless maybe some rouse to a special event). She always cries at weddings and baptisms and would embarrass us to death when we were young. She has refused to die her hair during the past few transitional years into gray. I have grown to admire that more and more over the years. She is a simple and a beautiful woman. One who has never given into the world and the world's standards. Instead she is a woman of faith. A faithful and loving wife and mother. She knows how to serve others more than anyone I've ever experienced. She is passionate about teaching. She is a loyal friend. The status of Cool is ever changing. All you have to do is pick up an In Style magazine to see that. When you focus on character instead of cool, life is so much simpler.<br />
<br />
In the end maybe the fun Mom is the Coolest Mom. I had real conversations with my Mom. And although I sometimes held things back, for the most part I was able to be honest with my Mom.<br />
In my teenage years, I had some very mean and disrespectful moments and on several accounts I remember my Mom also handling that with humor. She quoted Proverbs 31:28 "Her children rise up and call her Blessed." Mom would say, "Priscilla, One day you will rise up and call me Blessed!". I would laugh. I was so mean. But over the years as I have grown into a God-fearing Woman I have called her Blessed. A few years ago I found a Mother's Day card with that quote and I knew it was the perfect card for her.<br />
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As a Mom of two daughters, my Mom modeled great characteristics for my sister and me. She constantly had to battle our desires to want the cool clothes and cool cars. She instilled some incredible values in us. I wonder how much she was conscious of that or if it just flowed out of who she is? I, of course, still struggle with wanting to be cool, even at the age of 31. But I am so thankful I have a Mother who has modeled what a truly beautiful woman of Christ looks like. Really, all of Proverbs 31 describes my Mother. I hope to be half the Mom to my kids as she was and is to me!<br />
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<h3 id="p20031010_01-1">
The Woman Who Fears the Lord</h3>
<span class="begin-line-group"></span> <br />
<div class="line" id="p20031010_07-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031010-1">10</span><span class="footnote"></span> An excellent wife who can find?</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031010_13-1">
She is far more precious than jewels.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031011_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031011-1">11 </span>The heart of her husband trusts in her,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031011_09-1">
and he will have no lack of gain.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031012_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031012-1">12 </span>She does him good, and not harm,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031012_08-1">
all the days of her life.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031013_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031013-1">13 </span>She seeks wool and flax,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031013_06-1">
and works with willing hands.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031014_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031014-1">14 </span>She is like the ships of the merchant;</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031014_09-1">
she brings her food from afar.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031015_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031015-1">15 </span>She rises while it is yet night</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031015_08-1">
and provides food for her household</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031015_14-1">
and portions for her maidens.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031016_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031016-1">16 </span>She considers a field and buys it;</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031016_08-1">
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031017_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031017-1">17 </span>She dresses herself<span class="footnote"></span> with strength</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031017_06-1">
and makes her arms strong.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031018_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031018-1">18 </span>She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031018_08-1">
Her lamp does not go out at night.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031019_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031019-1">19 </span>She puts her hands to the distaff,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031019_08-1">
and her hands hold the spindle.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031020_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031020-1">20 </span>She opens her hand to the poor</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031020_08-1">
and reaches out her hands to the needy.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031021_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031021-1">21 </span>She is not afraid of snow for her household,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031021_10-1">
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.<span class="footnote"></span></div>
<div class="line" id="p20031022_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031022-1">22 </span>She makes bed coverings for herself;</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031022_07-1">
her clothing is fine linen and purple.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031023_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031023-1">23 </span>Her husband is known in the gates</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031023_08-1">
when he sits among the elders of the land.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031024_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031024-1">24 </span>She makes linen garments and sells them;</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031024_08-1">
she delivers sashes to the merchant.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031025_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031025-1">25 </span>Strength and dignity are her clothing,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031025_07-1">
and she laughs at the time to come.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031026_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031026-1">26 </span>She opens her mouth with wisdom,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031026_07-1">
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031027_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031027-1">27 </span>She looks well to the ways of her household</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031027_10-1">
and does not eat the bread of idleness.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031028_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031028-1">28 </span>Her children rise up and call her blessed;</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031028_09-1">
her husband also, and he praises her:</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031029_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031029-1">29 </span>“Many women have done excellently,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031029_06-1">
but you surpass them all.”</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031030_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031030-1">30 </span>Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031030_08-1">
but a woman who fears the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span> is to be praised.</div>
<div class="line" id="p20031031_01-1">
<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20031031-1">31 </span>Give her of the fruit of her hands,</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031031_09-1">
and let her works praise her in the gates.</div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031031_09-1">
<br /></div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031031_09-1">
While I know that some of this passage is from a different time period I can still draw the characteristics in the meaning. My Mom is a hard worker. She has stood behind her Husband, my Father. She has a servant's heart and she worked hard to take care of her family. She still does work hard to take care of her family, as most recently evidenced by her devotion to her Father following the passing of her Mom. My Mom fears the Lord more than she fears the World. She is wise in that she knows that Charm is deceptive and Beauty is fleeting. And yet she is beautiful with a natural beauty. Her Children and her Grandchildren do rise and call her Blessed!</div>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUK_nSSCTRk/TnEK-Gowo5I/AAAAAAAAADk/mviC_EQmXdQ/s1600/191.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUK_nSSCTRk/TnEK-Gowo5I/AAAAAAAAADk/mviC_EQmXdQ/s320/191.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652311069376422802" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 214px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<div class="indent line" id="p20031031_09-1">
<br /></div>
<div class="indent line" id="p20031031_09-1">
<img alt="" src="file:///C:/Users/Eric/Pictures/Wedding%20Picture%20Backup/before%20ceremony%20portraits/192.jpg" /></div>
Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-61808727600012856092011-08-19T14:07:00.001-04:002014-05-07T14:23:12.031-04:00Ideal Family, Part II<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> 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Ideal Family, Part 2</div>
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I recently wrote about trying to obtain an ideal family. The ideal family definitely looks different for each individual. Remember the quote regarding the American dream: "2.5 children, white picket fence,etc"? I think it's very important to tune into our expectations about our families. Sometimes, we have unspoken expectations that continue to drive us without even realizing it. If a large family is important to you, you will definitely feel some pressure to continue to grow and perhaps even a sense of dissatisfaction without having attained that standard. Perhaps you dream of a minivan overflowing with kids, laughter, and chaos. Maybe you have decided you just want to focus and raise one child. Perhaps, you want to become a parent so badly, you have decided to adopt as a single parent.</div>
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Over the past few years I have noticed a growing trend towards larger families. While I don't have an overall concern with this I have grown concerned at times by an insistence to fulfill an ideal family at the expense of one's existing family. Have you ever witnessed the harried mom who is constantly stressed out and feeling inadequate and yet continues to add more children to her family? Have you heard a husband and wife say that they can't remember the last time they actually sat down and had a real conversation and yet see no concern over adding more chaos to their family? Have you heard a woman say, "I'm tired of waiting for Mr. Right. I'm going to take matters into my own hands"? On the other side of the fence, I have witnessed families completely broken down by infertility struggling to find acceptance for what appears to be a shattered dream for their ideal family. I have cried with friends over losses of pregnancies, lost hopes for healthy babies, breakdowns in the family unit. </div>
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I believe God wants more for us and for our families. What if we allowed the Lord to guide and direct our process of growing our families? I have so much admiration for families that are willing to dig deep and put aside their ideals in order to do what's best for their families. I have seen families have a special needs child and suddenly they are faced with a crisis regarding their ideal family. I have seen families accept their infertility and wholeheartedly embrace the prospect of adoption. I have been blessed beyond measure by families who love their foster and adoption children as their very own. I have seen families allow their ideals to be transformed in order to love their special needs child and to provide for them the best way possible, even if that means holding off on growing their families in number. I have seen families put having more children on hold for financial reasons, whether that be a job change or a desire to pay down debt, all for the sake of wanting to do what's best for their children. I have heard a mom say that she wants more children but knows that's not what's best for her whole family and sacrifices that desire. I honor that that kind of honesty and humility. </div>
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What if we could take a hard look inside of ourselves and ask what is motivating us to achieve our ideal families? What is it about that ideal that makes us feel complete or whole? I have seen expectations based on ideals cause a lot of pain. I have seen a son feel alienated by his family because he is not successful scholastically. I have seen marriages fail over sick children. I have seen children feel an incredible amount of pressure to fulfill their parent's dreams. What if you are the only girl out of a family of three boys and you learn that you were conceived in order to fulfill your mom's lifelong dream of having a girl. Isn't that a lot of pressure to put on children? What if this girl from three boys turns out to be a tom boy and doesn't meet her mother's girly expectations? Likewise, how many times have you heard children referred to as the "oops baby"? Now I know some people say this in vein but in all seriousness does this not speak again to an ideal family mentality? </div>
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What if we could strip all of our expectations of an ideal family and ask the Lord to be the author of our families? Certainly the Lord cares about the desires of our hearts and it never hurts to express that to Him. I happen to believe the Lord's ways are better than mine. That means, he might have plans for my family that I could not have possibly dreamed up on my own. I want to be open to His plans for my life. I have a long way to grow in this area but I am certainly praying for this. </div>
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Priscillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13120239069595628684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-25739526476480031052011-07-08T13:47:00.001-04:002011-07-08T13:48:33.430-04:00Adoption RantToday I heard a caller on the radio share the good news that her brother was on his way back from Haiti with his two new adopted children. That's so exciting! But then my heart sank when I heard her say that she is going to get to meet them next week when they all go on a (extended) family vacation. What!?!?! <br /><br />This tapped into one of my adoption nerves. (I have many adoption nerves) These kids are going to be going through so much change. They need time to adjust. They need time to learn who their new mother and father are. They need time to get used to a new time change. They need to find new American foods that they like. They need time to grieve all of their losses from leaving Haiti. Losses from leaving Haiti???, you ask. Well Heck Yes! Their whole world as they knew it is gone. They may/may not even understand what is happening to them. They probably have some language barriers. They will probably have much bigger spaces to live in. They will probably be overwhelmed by all of the STUFF we Americans have. They will be Overstimulated!!! <br /><br />When might they be ready for a large family vacation? The answer to that is probably no time soon. They need time to define their new nuclear family. They need to time to build trust in their new parents. They need time to get used to the new sights and smells amongst them. This celebration of this wonderful ADOPTION is a huge deal!!!!!!!!!!! Why don't we acknowledge this? Why don't we want to accept this? Ok, I know I know. It might just be ignorance. But that's another adoption nerve. Why aren't we stressing the need for adoption education more? Whether it is a domestic adoption or an international adoption we all need to be educated. We need to be prepared. We need to be humbled. We need to be reminded that while adoption is a wonderful thing, it's not easy. It's complex and we need to honor all of the complexities. <br /><br />#needed to ventErichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05062637733962156085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-56103484501531659152011-06-23T15:13:00.001-04:002011-06-23T15:15:16.305-04:00The Ideal FamilyWhat is your ideal family? Now, come on and be honest. We all have ideas about our perfect family. Maybe it's a boy and a girl. Maybe it's three kids just like the family you came from. Maybe it's little girls because you love girly things like tutus, hair bows and dresses. <br /><br />What process do we go through when we decide to grow our families? <br />We live in a world where people try hard to plan their perfect families with the perfect timing. You often hear people planning pregnancies around work schedules. You hear people talk about getting their house first before they start their family. You hear people saying that they want their children to be exactly three years apart. <br /><br />I remember my husband and I tentatively discussing our plans for children when we got married. We initially adopted the typical 3-5 year plan to have children. After some complications with pregnancy preventatives, we began to educate ourselves on Natural Family Planning. I loved the idea of NFP but I was struck by how much time and attention I would need to give in order to be successful with this. I started to feel convicted that we should release control over this. I asked myself why are we on a 3-5 year plan? I could come up with no good answers. We didn't have our first house yet but what did that have to do with being ready to have children? I was nervous to share my thoughts to stop trying to plan or prevent a pregnancy with my husband, but he was completely on board. Letting go of that ideal time frame was incredibly freeing. I felt freer than I had in a long time. <br /><br />Do we really believe God is in control of growing our families? <br />We know that there are several religions that believe in allowing God to be in control completely by not taking any preventative measures or medical interventions to conceive. I don't know all the answers, I just know that for our family surrendering our plan was very freeing and it felt that we were allowing God to be the author of our family. Now, three years later I am faced with being challenged to trust God to grow my family on the other end of the spectrum. Don't think for a minute I was exempt from having my ideal family too. I have always envisioned having 3-4 children and that they would be close together in age. I came from a family of two girls and we are two years apart. I always wanted a brother. I love large families. I love the chaos. I love all the different relationships each member has with each other. After our son was born, we continued the journey of allowing God to grow our family. It looked as though our first two children would be 23 months apart. I was so excited about that timing. Inside I would have been happy to be pregnant again as soon as my son was about 9 months old. Isn't it easy to trust God when we are getting what we really want? I unexpectedly lost that pregnancy at 12 weeks. I was devastated. I have prayed for acceptance. I have prayed to release again my desires to the Lord. And here we are... surrendering control over growing our family. It is scary. Sometimes I worry that I won't be able to conceive and carry again. Sometimes I start to think maybe I need to start looking at other options to grow our family. But I am more feeling the urge to release control and to allow God to grow me in the process. Who doesn't like control? Of course I would love to be able to dictate when and how I will grow my family but at this time, that's not what I feel called to. <br /><br />What role does faith play in your ideal family?<br />I truly believe that I will one day look back on this time in my life and see God's authorship throughout our journey. I am reminded to look at the bigger picture. I am going to take care of what the Lord has given me today. I know He knows the desires of hearts. He loves us and wants us to prosper. I look around and see his mercies that are new every day. I am grateful for our son who I have the privilege of raising with my loving husband. <br /><br />Here's to the next chapter...Erichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05062637733962156085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6570788981971147786.post-55751081825639027562011-05-12T14:22:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:22:49.138-04:00The Lord Provides for our Heart's Desire...RD World<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MrncpdIjkBs/TcwvSYvovmI/AAAAAAAAB_g/UgGsNRw87b4/s1600/226279_521609918808_142700614_30585361_8332599_n.jpg"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lzj9fThNQAQ/Tcwu_UUi56I/AAAAAAAAB_Y/Pq31qk65djY/s1600/IMG_6124.JPG"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IWnPBIZCwD4/TcwunollfDI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/BJXc0h-2kWo/s1600/IMG_5421.JPG"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kjwoh_IxJGY/TcwuXxhpkqI/AAAAAAAAB_I/6ZwbMqXnCOM/s1600/206987_503268405348_142700688_30071035_2846_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kjwoh_IxJGY/TcwuXxhpkqI/AAAAAAAAB_I/6ZwbMqXnCOM/s320/206987_503268405348_142700688_30071035_2846_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605906622135767714" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-exJzxhwhxTk/TcwuBlmyYbI/AAAAAAAAB_A/32DnfOTkSx8/s1600/CCU%2B005.jpg"><br /></a><br />I am amazed by the way that the Lord has laid out his blessings in my life.<br />I know a lot of people don't get the whole RD (Resident Director) thing. People frequently call me a RA, think I live in a dorm room, and the confusion goes on.<br />The truth is ever since College I have wanted to a RD. I know it's hard to believe but it's true. When I graduated from Anderson U. I was unfortunately not in a place emotionally where I could pursue that dream. After taking a year and a half off from school I decided to pursue my MA in Counseling at CCU.<br /><br />Right after I graduated, my two best friends from Grad school and I went on our annual trip to her Uncle's condo in Florida. My mentor had just given me the book "Dream Giver" and I vividly remember walking on the beach praying to the Lord about my future endeavors and feeling like the Lord was bringing back my dream to be a RD. It was hard to want that b/c I had just completed my MA in counseling and was ready to get into a counseling job. So I just kept praying and even remember having a specific conversation with Rachel about being a RD at CCU.<br /><br />I received a call from the Dean of Women at that time the next month inquiring about my interest in becoming a RD at CCU. Wow. CCU is a small, private, Christian college. The dorm size is small. And due to that, I was able to also work as a counselor at another dream job (Pregnancy/Adoption Counselor...another story) at the same time. How was this possible? I was offered two positions I always wanted in the same time period.<br /><br />I had no idea what I was doing when I first started as the RD. My first year was very stressful and the dorm was busting. Girls were living on top of each other which created a lot more conflict. It was an intense year. But its amazing to me how each year I have grown and learned and it's become a natural part of our lives. I know the rhythms of the school year. I am better prepared to deal with roommate conflicts when they arise. I feel more confident in my leadership. I am more light hearted when problems arise. <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ckSgW3rBilM/TcwtnRoNsUI/AAAAAAAAB-w/dSo-qg5D9S4/s1600/IMG_3832.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ckSgW3rBilM/TcwtnRoNsUI/AAAAAAAAB-w/dSo-qg5D9S4/s320/IMG_3832.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605905788939645250" border="0" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lzj9fThNQAQ/Tcwu_UUi56I/AAAAAAAAB_Y/Pq31qk65djY/s1600/IMG_6124.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lzj9fThNQAQ/Tcwu_UUi56I/AAAAAAAAB_Y/Pq31qk65djY/s320/IMG_6124.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605907301490943906" border="0" /></a>The only other career I have considered outside of Counseling and Student Development is teaching at the college level. After a brief email to the head of the Psych. program here at CCU, I was offered two undergrad classes to teach. Crisis & Grief Counseling and Abnormal Psychology. What a challenging and rewarding experience. This also increased my exposure to commuter and male students, which was awesome. I hope to still teach at CCU in the future.<br /><br />Well, Eric and I have lived in two different dorms during our tenure at CCU. Our apt now is definitely a lot more spacious than the first. We have worked with well over 500 women during this time. I have served with three different RDs/friends, two different bosses and 25 different RA's (who I love!!!) Many students have become dear friends of ours. We will forever cherish our time here. I will miss all of the knocks on the door (even the late nights). I will miss the in- depth conversations. I will miss mentoring women. I will miss the drama. I will miss the screaming, singing, dancing, laughing and slamming doors. I will miss witnessing the 18 year old girls turn into women during their time at CCU. I will miss the uplifting Christian atmosphere.<br /><br />A lot has happened in our lives in the past five years.<br />The run down of our time here...<br />May 2006 Graduate<br />July 2006 Begin RD job<br />Sept. 2006 Get Penny, my dog who was a puppy then<br />Sept. 2006 Meet Eric<br />Oct. 2006 Begin Adoption/Pregnancy counselor job<br />May 2007 Engaged<br />July 2007 Married<br />August 2007 Eric starts his MA in Healthcare Administration<br />December 2008 Pregnant<br />September 2009 Simon is born<br />December 2009 Finish working as a counselor<br />January 2010 Move to the bigger dorm apt.<br />January 2010 Begin teaching two undergrad Psychology classes at CCU<br />May 2010 Eric Graduates with his MA and goes right into his first job (Praise God)<br />September 2010 Began leading the Moms group at our church<br />December 2010 Pregnant again<br />February 2011 Miscarriage<br />March 2011 Buy our first Home<br />June 2011 Move to our first home<br /><br />It has been a crazy ride! Thinking about CCU entails so much more than just living in a dorm for FIVE years. We have so many memories here. So many faces. So many women who have entered our "home" and spent time with our family. It has been such an honor and a privilege. Who wouldn't want to live with people like these...<br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MrncpdIjkBs/TcwvSYvovmI/AAAAAAAAB_g/UgGsNRw87b4/s1600/226279_521609918808_142700614_30585361_8332599_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MrncpdIjkBs/TcwvSYvovmI/AAAAAAAAB_g/UgGsNRw87b4/s320/226279_521609918808_142700614_30585361_8332599_n.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605907629095829090" border="0" /></a><br />Recently Eric and I were talking as I was expressing sadness over our decision to move on from CCU and Eric was encouraging me that I will still have opportunities to build into women's lives. It will just be in different ways. And I don't know what those ways will be but I'm trusting God to open the doors. I also am seeing my time needing to be largely invested into my little family. They deserve my affection, time and emotional presence. There's no doubt that there are times the family takes the back seat from the job. More family time will be a welcomed change.<br /><br />One last thing to mention that is also hard for people to believe is that Eric wholeheartedly engages in this RD world. He has enjoyed it as much as I have. His one complaint is that in five years, no one has knocked on the door for him...lol. But the truth is, Eric has offered the residents a lot of truth and wisdom over the years as well. What a blessing to me that he has supported and encouraged me in my role.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-exJzxhwhxTk/TcwuBlmyYbI/AAAAAAAAB_A/32DnfOTkSx8/s1600/CCU%2B005.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-exJzxhwhxTk/TcwuBlmyYbI/AAAAAAAAB_A/32DnfOTkSx8/s320/CCU%2B005.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605906240978969010" border="0" /></a>Erichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05062637733962156085noreply@blogger.com0